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[Series] Schmetterlingseffekt [fanfiction] Green Eyed Monster, vol. 2 [R/NC-17]

Title: Green Eyed Monster , vol. 2
Author: lisachanoando ( Lizon )
Genre: Introspective, Drama, Romance, Erotic.
Rating: R/NC-17
couple: Bill / Chakuza, Fler / Bushido, and any number of references to a bunch of other stuff.
Alerts: Lime, Slash, Angst.
Wordcount: 4571
Notes: Go and read EKR and SE that otherwise do not understand anything E_e
Summary: " My week started very badly. "
Notes: That is, let us account : we're starting to have a rate of composting almost human * cries * So touched, clarification before I leave you to read: Despite the title and the adorable "vol 2." Pucci nearby, this story is not the direct result of the posted by Tabata some time ago. But there is inextricably linked * huhuhu * (Ps: But you knew that in the rest of Italy "donut" has the masculine article while here in Sicily - or at least to Palermo, as do as I know, is female ? ° °)

(the wonderful pattona over here is made in Table \u0026lt;3)

GREEN EYED MONSTER, vol. 2

My week started very badly. That's not as if to say that on Monday I woke up after a nightmare and the first thing, for example, I put the slippers I've got inside and found a scorpion and I felt wet and I noticed that you have flooded the house and then discovering that they had broken the pipe in the apartment at the same time due to a traffic jam on the type of the toilet upstairs between the other has done so much rot in the beams of the ceiling collapse and force them to dump sewage in the middle of my living room. No, that was a bad start to the week, but after all due to bad luck and accidents of life, the usual things that normally you take a right up his sleeves and shrugs before you go to work to get everything back place.
No, my start to the week been far worse, and coincided with a revival horrible, yes, but for reasons far more serious than the ones I mentioned above. Moreover, Eko Fresh bell that attaches to your house for half an hour at seven in the morning is worse than a nightmare, a scorpion, a flood and a kilogram of slurry of dubious origin, and centrifuged together in a ' single huge Apocalypse. Eko Fresh Eko Fresh is, unless you know you can not understand, and if you know it you avoid it.
Anyway, imagine me. Whether or not you imagine me imagine someone else, it does not matter, anyway: I wake up, grunt like a unfairly bear awakened from their lethargy legitimate, go to the door and I hope at least is Bill, who is pressing the doorbell repeatedly because they do not see me for four hours and want absolutely lost time closing double throw me up in the bedroom to Sunday, and nothing but, Eko is just looking at me like they had just killed his mother, clutching a newspaper in the chest with one hand and holding a packet a bit 'anointed with oil in the other.
- Eko. - Notes, and I wonder if maybe I can find an excuse to send him away, only that he did not even give me time to set in motion the mechanisms of the brain because I deviates from the side, goes inside and closes the door behind him. By turning the key in the lock. - Eko?! - I ask, vaguely disturbed by the fact that he has come here to race and segregation by bringing food with me in a not so great apartment whose walls have seen too much in order to disturb again.
- It's a terrible thing happened. - He begins, dark, and I think that yes, oh yes it is a terrible thing happened, we are closed in my apartment! I do not see what could be more terrible than this. - Maybe you better sit down. - continues, nodding thoughtfully.
- I'm good standing. - I say, vaguely worried. Are already at a disadvantage like that, imagine if I sit down. I also try to tell me that is totally irrational on my part, think that Eko has come here and it is closed with me in here because he wanted to take advantage of my body, but the brain mechanisms described above are still off and the ' man brain is still going to oliarli everything right before you activate it, so I keep thinking that maybe I was just sitting, I overturn Eko on the island of the kitchen and take the my virginity, and to avoid anything I stand
- Believe me. - He insists, pushing the island towards the kitchen - I knew, I! - And forced to sit on a stool - And while you're there, take the donuts.
- What a donut? - I ask, pulling on his pajama bottoms up to heights axillary and regretted not having done so to buy a chastity belt to protect themselves with respect to any similar.
- What I've brought you. - He says, perfectly still, giving the package anointed who rested on the shelf - Eat. It you need it.
- Listen, Eko! - I rebel at that point I jumped up, - I'm not hungry and I do not want to sit! Now, explain to me what your problem is before I want to grab you by the collar and throw you out of the house through the window?! Eko
glares at me and snorts, clearly annoyed by my behavior, and the whole world gets quiet and unwinds me think of the newspaper. It is a tabloid than those that cost a spit every ten, the stuff that you pull behind the newsagents to him how many came forward to Sunday, and on the front page, right in the middle, there is a giant of Bushido and Fler caught by a paparazzo in a restaurant. Forehead against the forehead.
- ah .... - I syllabus, low on air, sitting on the first stool that instinctively find the buttons with my hand behind me and sending the hand not engaged in research to catch the donuts in the bag. - Ah.
- "Ah," I think a reaction euphemistic. - He says, and while I am here having a bite Out of donuts and chocolate and sugar I hope that invade veins and stuns the brain, and I wonder where he learned the meaning of the word "euphemism", he launches into a dissertation of his senseless. - No, but I say, do you realize? I mean, I'm not upset by Bushido, given the precedents, although perhaps this should also upset because, I mean, at least Bill seemed female, we could say that he was confused - but to say to whom, Eko? - But the homeless? I mean, Fler, gay? But you'd never have expected it?
- I ... - I begin, swallowing hard. The piece of donut is as hard as marble and does not slide down the throat, not even dead. I reflect briefly on my saliva completely cleared and I resign myself to die suffocated by Eko donuts. - ... Do not know.
- But then! - Continued he obviously shocked by this revelation, - thou hast thou lived together for almost a millennium, ew! It's not that you have stretched hands on him in his sleep? Like, you did while drunk and you were there in a coma alcohol overturned on the mattress and I was made in secret? Have you checked?
- No, Eko! - I almost blurt, staring wild-eyed, - I have not checked and non-Fler has not done anything like this, we , is not that because one is gay ... or whatever it is ... - to inhale and exhale fatigue - feels the need to get hands on him and rape you or something! - Explain. And then I feel like a rope hanging from the rafters of the ceiling and hang myself, because ... my God. No, Eko, Fler has not taken advantage of me in my sleep, it is more likely to be the exact opposite happened, but it is not the case that you know.
- Bah! - He concludes, spreading his arms to his sides and sitting on the stool in front of me, spreading the magazine on the shelf to look again, as if to grasp nuances that had failed to notice before. - That sucks, though.
- But what sucks?! - Explode I irrationally irritated by this thing - I remember that I'm with Bill?! If you come and do righteousness, go do it in a house where you do not usually fuck men!
He raises his eyes dark and empty and stares at me long, as he did not understand where I'm going.
- But what? - Calls it - Bill is a different thing. He is practically a woman.
And I would answer that no, if anything, Bill is a woman theoretically, but practically is decidedly male, only then I remember the indisputable truth in the head by Eko - not because it is unquestionably correct, but because it is one that sees him and he is not willing to change even for all the gold in the world, since it is the only universe that can not live without trauma - and this undeniable truth in his head said to Bill, will also have the bird, but it's a female. So for now he's perfectly normal to go to bed with the boys, or that a male who wants to go to bed with him. What is Lei.
The thing that really troubles me is I know that Eko saw Bill in these terms. And then, maybe, if m'incazzo for that "this sucks" is not Bill. The speech
dies there, Eko because he had to do - ruin my day - he did, and I rest two minutes after calling me a jerk and just think that so much worse than this can not go. Of course I'm wrong, because two hours after meeting Bill and he is taciturn and apparently Scazzi, and there is a huge problem when you Bill is taciturn Scazzi that, because Bill is often Scazzi but there always has to let the world know why , as adores him feel guilty. When Bill Scazzi and can not tell you why, the reason is that he does not want to do it.
Since being with me, it happened once. Then it turned out it was a case for an argument with his brother, but of course I always worried because we were first together, these moments were the chronic Scazzi only when something reminded him of Bushido. And then he was dead, then, in short, there was no need to interfere. Even today, there are moments like this, where Bill is angry and upset to continue in peace, flying to another planet - a planet on which I can not get there from where I feel distant.
Bill remained on that planet for the whole week so far, and this, combined with the fact that Bushido Fler's on, and God only knows why, this thing sends me into a rage, made my life impossible in ' last week.
This morning, however, after last night he called me and said that he would not go home because he was tired and preferred to go to bed to sleep - a statement usually it makes me understand that point has come to its melancholy - I recalled, and asked if I could move to take dell'Ersguterjunge studies, since he had to do something here. After a week just to see us and bad, and after last night passed without him, all'EGJ let go without a pass to go wherever he wanted, as far as I could be irritated by its distance and dall'EGJ in general, was not really an option, so I slapped a couple of times before the mirror, I gave myself an attitude, I'm dressed and I jumped in the car.
dell'EGJ studies, since Bushido is back, are not the same as they were before she died. I have wonderful memories of this place. Evenings spent eating junk food getting drunk and talking crap and end up sleeping on the couches, days spent chasing an idea of Bushido, and a very cool beat, voice entry, in an improvisation continues. The parties, the fooling around, fantastic day in which the work was great, everything worked perfectly and they all look tiny gears of a larger mechanism that once it starts going ahead on its own without having to push anything.
Then he died, and the studies have become a perennial big funeral. Even without his body exposed on display in a coffin with a glass lid, was where we gathered all yearn for a bit ', when they feel the need. After the funeral, Saad had it all set to resume work, but a little 'because some of us - me first - we did not agree, a little' because Germany was still too shaken to think about rap, nothing was ever broken down well, so get in here more than anything else was to regain possession of that piece of Bushido and all that we had lost all we could find in these rooms, as if part of his spirit was trapped between the molecules of air, scratched plaster from the walls of dilapidated chairs.
When he came back, then, was even worse: the Universal claimed to colonize all send emissaries whose offices have been entrusted, and who have made claims, which they called the companies of workers who have renovated, repainted, renovated , refurbished, refreshed. They took everything that was there and swept away, and now go in the middle of these corridors will not give me any more good feeling. Not There is no memory about the new carpet or the sofa in impeccable white skin. There is no recall on those revolving doors or windows, automatic and always shiny. Now all that remains for me walking in here is the rage for all that was there and that none of us will ever be able to find more, because it was thrown away by too many people.
However, when I'm here I look at the couch to sit and I wonder whether or not that is so close to the entrance and then, coming out, Bill has to go under here, one way or another, Fler's voice keeps me from moving further.
- What are you doing here? - Asks me, and there is no malice in his voice, only surprise and disbelief, as if he had imagined many times the opportunity to be here in front of this sofa, and every single time he had said, "but no, fuck that, it will never happen. " It happened.
I turn slowly, sketching half smile.
- Hello. - Begin embarrassed - I'm sorry.
He opens his eyes, looking more and more upset.
- What are you sorry? - Rightly calls. I apologize for that? I wonder too. It's not his house, this shall not be entered from the window to rob the apartment. Why can not I just say "Bill asked me to pick, I'm waiting for"? Why can not I have a conversation - or relationship - normal, with this man?
- I do not know. - I admit, and is a response to your question is that the many that I have I place in the last thirty seconds. - How are you?
He continues to stare at me as if I were an alien or God knows what else.
- Well, I guess. - Answers remain on the defensive, a few feet away.
- Pictures? - I ask, raising an eyebrow - you ok or not?
- Yes! - He exclaims, and then rubs his temples and sighed deeply. When he returns to look into my eyes, is visibly calmer. Fler envy for the capacity it has to sort out instantly in their heads. I guess it's one of several legacy of the ghetto, why does not it does not depress me that much, but I admit that is a skill that would be comfortable have, from time to time. - Yes, I'm fine, Chaku.
- That thing you did ... - I smile a bit ', pointing to the movement he raises his arms to the sides of the head - it seems a different person now. It always works?
Inexplicably, he now understands what I'm talking about.
- Yes. - Ride in a low voice, - I was thinking that would also serve to you?
- Exactly. - I laugh too, and in time to allow me to use this liberating laughter, closing his eyes, he approached, laying two fingers on his temples, massaging floor. When I open my eyes, the pressure of his fingers and his eyes are absurdly close, the only real things in the universe. So it seems appropriate to say something equally true, and also in a hurry. - I missed you.
He stops just to touch, of course, and leaves a couple of steps.
- I-I - starting, of course, but I prevented him from finishing.
- is that we have not seen or heard! - I start to babble, gesturing as I do when I have no idea what I'm saying and I hope my movements can distract from the content of my words - I was a bit 'worried, you know, as we had left. - Just realized that while I speak what I really came out of his house covered in blood and bruises, some of whom are here today despite the long weeks of non-attendance, it was me, so maybe it should be he what s & rsquo and is concerned for me. Who knew him, what happened to me in the meantime? I could get out of his house collapsing and dying on the first corner for internal bleeding, so to speak. Of course, then the newspapers somehow gliel'avrebbero let it be known, and then - as on the front pages of every tabloid there are pictures of my body to the morgue but that photo of me walking with Bill, go to dinner with Bill, go to the park with Bill and I do a lot of new things with Bill - he probably had no reason to worry or anything, but boh, is quite absurd to me now he is saying that I was worried about him. And moreover, I continued to talk even now that while I was talking in my head, so I have no idea of what I said in the last ten minutes. But it must be something absurd, if looking at me with that face there, as if swearing in Latin while the head rotates on the neck me three hundred and sixty degrees streams of vomit green and a fountain out of every orifice of my body.
- Chaku ... - I called him, an amused smile on his lips just mentioned, - Chaku! - And I stop in the middle of a word that I thought and I said I'll never know. - I missed you too. - Smiles serenely, leaning his back against the wall - I'm glad that the injuries will be better. At least you're not unwatchable. - Giggles.
And I do not know what it takes me. Probably the same thing I've taken while babbling about him and Eko Bushido Monday morning in my house filled up with donuts and hoping enough not to upset too. Probably the same thing I've taken all the times I was conscious of having to let go, or having at least help to come off, or having to respect his decision not want me to see again. Probably the same thing I always take short, when he's half. One thing I do not know and I can not stop, something about which I am not afraid to admit that I try to stop.
Even I notice when I get close, because it is proven that a movement so I have it engraved type bones. The shape of her chest against mine, her shoulders under my hands, pressed his lips on mine. Its flavor is always the same.
I will not notice, he did. I plant on my hands and pushes back hard, pressed against the wall as if it served to defend itself, and gives me the impression that if he could, break through the wall and back again . It can not, and is the only reason I'm continuing to look into his eyes. I can almost disperse reflected inside. My confused expression, as though I for one had not understood what I was doing.
I understood, Fler. I was wrong anyway, but I understood.

* I need to lean somewhere, and I choose the wall because it seems pretty hard, after all, although sometimes I get the impression that the walls are made of cardboard all'EGJ, they are so thin that if one speaks a little 'more loudly on the other side can hear everything.
Chakuza and I wish I could look straight into her head with the ease with which it usually do when I'm not so confused and upset and threatened - by what, even I know - but I can not. Breathing deeply, I realize that not enough for me, I'm still breathing.
- Non - start, uncertain - not what I meant.
He looks at me and not responding. She has her lips parted, her eyes lost, and I do not know what to say more. I do not know if I had told him what I just said was correct, because it is not true. It is not entirely at least. I wish it was, but it can not be me if it takes so little to not understand anything.
- excused - he starts, but I acted immediately, I detach from the wall and began to move his arms to stop it.
- Do not apologize. - The block, shaking his head - I did misunderstand me. In short, I miss , yes, but not in that sense. And then I'm with-
- I know who you're with. - I stopped him. I lost count of the times when we spoke on him, interrupting each other, only today. It is a game that we did the first time we met, the truth is that I Chakuza and two heads are too hard because of our fights can really get out something good. More reason why you must end now. It would be better to close it before, but it is now all that remains is Now that we have to close it.
- I'm with Anis. - I say anyway. And I say good articulating every letter, speaking clearly and loudly. So he can hear, really hear, and can not ignore it.
Chakuza not look at me. Nods hastily, then mutters something in the car the appearance, which is better, and then disappears in the blink of an eye. As you look through the door to exit from education, I take the look that gives me a glimpse in the mirror next all'appendipanni, and in her eyes - now it is slightly quieter - I read that clearly is already to forget what I just said, because there is nothing that can prevent us from Chakuza forget, if it suits him.
sigh heavily, taking up the hallway and starting to move to the office of Anis like I was doing before he met Chakuza in front of the couch. While knocking on the door, more out of habit because that Anis had ever requested from me a similar respect, I think it is highly presumptuous, and even very stupid on our part to think we can close something we have not even opened yet. This is the problem of our existence groped to close things are not open and groped to live with things as if they were never closed. And I know something.
When I enter the office, Anis is clearly bored, and I have to laugh. I remember the days dell'Aggro, he was an able to take to the bush for days and appear to studies in time for the recording, doing her thing and then disappear again until who knows when. Now it's different now is half of Universal, and Universal has set times tables, days before scheduled appointments, workshops were scanned in detail. The classic work by the civil servant who has always run away from that Anis was born, in short, but now is forced to undergo such things, things of which even includes the utility, because what he is entitled to do behind a desk if you did not write songs, listen to demo or sales reports to see smug?
- How are you? - Amused wonder, locking the door behind him and approaching. He stops to pretend to scroll through the eyes unnecessary paperwork and stretches all the backrest of the chair, which is one of those spring and then follow the momentum, leaning back and letting it can stretch out as a grunt satisfaction a bit 'frustrated.
- do you think? - He replies, straight back and absently scratching his forehead - I want to go home and I can not.
- Why? - I laugh, leaning against the desk - aspects that sounds the bell?
- ... I'm meeting a guy - he mutters, glancing annoyed - A manager, shit I know. In half an hour. Christ, but who made me do? I could be lying on a beach drinking coconut milk while the tourists were looking at me as a local specialty, now. Instead, look at me.
- But you're back in hostility Germany, whose throne was usurped by your coward brother bald, and have fought to regain the kingdom and the princess.
- and then loses both. - Smiles slightly. In his eyes there is a trace of sadness that is only a shadow. The drives away from the eyelids, and then back at me. - What do you have? - Asked me, scrutinizing me intrigued.
I look away, because I do not want to see. Sometimes, however, seems to me that almost do not need them. It seems to me that my troubles perceive them in the air, as if from nowhere I felt returned home after getting fucked with Nicole. It is a freedom of reading that I have left and what I pay for all the consequences.
- Nothing. - Slurred speech - everything is ok.
He does not answer me, you see a mile away I do not believe is missing at all. Stay a while 'sitting on his chair, twisting his thumbs and looking at me. I know because even though I'm staring at the wall as if he were Jesus Christ himself surfacing from under the plaster, I feel his eyes on me and make me feel uncomfortable.
Then I hear him get up and walk around the desk, reaching and only then turned to look and I see him smiling at me. I am about to say something, but he leans forward and kisses me on the lips light. He's still smiling.
I must not say anything. I close my eyes and just lean lips. He laughs, I just ride him, and then presses against me, making the space between my legs while I lift and I sit on the desk, leaving all the room he needs. I bow my head and he deepened the kiss, drawing her to him with one hand on her neck. It does not matter if the door is locked, because if by chance someone saw us and opened, he would have no problem telling him to go and take a ride and he ends up having sex. And this can happen because he takes me out to dinner, because we go out together, because if they ask if we're together, even as a joke, he says yes with all the seriousness of the world. Not because it is binding to me forever as we were married, simply because he knows that there is no reason to lie about it.
There is nothing hidden, what we are. This is the first time I ever felt so in my entire life. Anis was the one who made me feel this way. And I have grateful for help as he brushes her off her clothes and bend over the table, taking it in with a groan that I turn on my shoulder, before you bombard me with kisses and bites.
When I come between her fingers, I let out a groan louder than the others, and he smiles satisfied on my neck.
- See? - He tells me. His breathing is heavy and I smile too. - Whatever it was, time has passed. The
tight hug, just for a few seconds. I've never done with him, not so, but today I feel small, and the office of a sudden it seems to me from the room where I slept boy in the house with mum, to Tempelhof. Now my mother no longer lives, there. The first thing I did when I started seeing real money was buy a nice house in a nice neighborhood full of green where kids go to bring the newspaper and milk in the morning.
- has passed. - Confirm, though perhaps not quite true. - Thank you.