Ok, I would say that for these two days I've bored you enough. XD
I catch up with weekly updates, as this I had practically already written more than half time ago.
I added a midi for each episode with the song I hear as I write. If you want aacoltare the soundtrack as you read just press Play ...
XD Okay, enough, to be home sick means is very bad ... . _. "
Happy reading!
"Mr. Self Destruct" NIN
During the holidays it does not snow and I felt the nostalgia, it was nice to get lost listening to the silence produced by the soft white coat, but all survived to that lack.
few days after the holidays ended I met Jack, if possible even better than usual, and I realized what I liked, what attracted me and I began to feel very much more to him. Hours and hours trying to prepare for the best, hands sweaty and my stomach in turmoil, almost worse than the first times I had seen him. Berci
We went to a cafe and told me everything he had done. Seemed to have fun much without me. It did not seem particularly upset that I was not with him, but he promised that next time I might come if I wanted. After all, I thought we were together so recently that it was normal not run my holidays together, it was just my impression. Evidently I was burning just a little bit that she did all those things without me. I tried to ignore it and let me pass the paranoia. I would have shown too heavy if I complained too much and I did not want stupid discussions went so well. He treated me well, it was sweet, bright, and I believe not only in my eyes. It was full of friends, was a popular guy and the fact that his girlfriend made me proud as anyone. A queen, made me feel like a queen.
I went home with his head completely in the ball, the effect that Jack was on me was similar to the effect of a drug addiction not only gave, but the effects were in the true sense of the word, amazing. Find
Jamie bored with turning the TV channels which as usual did not offer anything good.
"What a boring afternoon, is not it, Jamie?" Greeted him.
"Hey, hello, Lu! Yes, very depressing ... "I settled on the couch next to him" You're out with Jack this afternoon? "
" Yeah, sure ... "
" You see! " not held back a chuckle, noting my face lost in the void was obviously easier than I thought.
"Yes, I realize ..." I blushed violently before changing the subject "Where is Elvis?" I asked, not seeing it run like a tornado for the dorm.
"It 's output with that of the blond party, remember?"
"Wow!" Exclaimed in wonder, Elvira who was dating a guy for so long? It was a novelty.
"It looks like a relationship, eh?"
No, Elvis was not the type. Above all, I had never said anything special about this guy, if it was something important he would talk as an exceptional event. Elly never did anything for nothing, hiding something.
"How serious? Are you kidding? Elvira? Nope, I do not think. It does not seem particularly taken. I do not know, but there is something underneath. "
Jamie shook her head smiling," Strange, when Elvira does something there's always something, is disturbing, but now beginning to get used to. "Elvira
Waiting for us to have presented his findings began to to talk about this and that. He was always nice to talk to Jamie. It was very relaxing, with him you could really talk about everything with no problems. A good listener who always left a little but reveal their moods. Only if you looked good in eyes could see if he was happy, sad, upset. He did not want anything in exchange for Jamie. It was a sort of guardian angel.
"So, little Jamie? How's the Cheer? "I settled on the side of the sofa to get it perfectly in front of me, as he stared at me wide-eyed and about to turn red in the face. I also liked to embarrass him, it was common knowledge that girls do not talk about was his forte.
"Mary ...?" asked and was at that point that something changed in its look. A mix of bitterness and despair. Maybe it was just my impression.
"Yes, Mary ... Do you have a girl who is so called. "I tried to joke Abbadon the position taken shortly before, because I did not think the case does not put his finger on the ever if things had not gone to the best among them. "It 's something wrong?" I asked worried.
chuckled without fun, running a hand over his face "No, nothing special. It seems to me only ... Cold toward me. "
" Cold? "
" Yes, when I talk to always seems that he is in the clouds. Sometimes you forget to call me ... It seems less grip, here. "
" Have you tried talking to her? "Mary did not know at all, had not done much to become your friend, but ... It seemed that we would avoid so I did not know if that was the typical behavior of Mary, or, actually, there was something wrong.
"Yeah .. I tried. He told me that I'm paranoid so I had to give up the towel, I had to do?" shrugged.
"You're so good, Jamie." I smiled.
"Yeah, I think I also ... The fact is that I want her, makes me feel really paranoid, maybe ... "he sighed," I just hope it is a period. "
" Sure, you'll see that everything will reset. "The places his hand on his shoulder," you will surely paranoid. "I joked and he smiled back, laughing shyly. I really hope so for him, did not deserve to suffer.
We remained silent a second, he lost in a thousand thoughts, before they broke again.
"And you, Lu? What about Jack? "Always with her sweet smile that infuse warmth and serenity.
"A party that lost are cooked? Nothing would say "I laughed almost hysterically. I thought just spent the afternoon and I felt invaded by happiness.
"You know, when you're together I was very surprised." Always the tone sweet and almost brotherly.
"Really? How come? "
" It looks really changed my dear Jack. "
" Changed? "
" Yeah .. In high school it was awful! "
I was really curious, not I was never going to rummage into the past of Jack. Not much, in fact. A little bit because I did not want to seem too urgent, a bit because I thought I was hurt in some way, but now I was damn curious.
"Really? Tell me! "I restrained myself, my request was emitted from my lips at the speed of light. I did not bother even to talk about it with Jamie, the bottom was a friend, he never said anything to Jack. He enjoyed himself to gossip, as it does not give to see.
Jamie's face broke into a broad smile.
'Well, it was one of the classic types who did not want a serious story. He used a little women. "
" Ok, let's go slowly. He was a womanizer? "My reaction touched the psychopath and compulsive maniac, but when it came to Jack ... I
posizionai crossing his legs in front of Jamie, not a word was not to escape me.
'Well, not to fret, but ... Yes, He had a lot of girls. And he obviously we tread in the hand. He would go out at night and they brought home at least one. All the girls drooling behind in high school, I told you that was very popular. He has charm. He had more success giocari of the football team. Really ... "he repeated, seeing wide-eyed and incredulous. "And when I heard that ... Did you ... "pause, snapped his fingers as if he did not arrive the right word to use, "You were ..." I understood everything. The usual so Jamie, and his discourses on sex did not go well together.
"Come on, Jamie, say ..." I sighed holding back laughter.
"Did you ... Be ', in other words you understand ... "
" How are you sir, Jamie ... "
" Well ... "his face was completely red now and extremely funny" and then when you told me you had not called ... I felt guilty, I should tell you. But you were so busy that I did not take you down ... "
" Jamie "I froze" who cares? There 's been good, right? "
" Indeed! I was really happy when I saw you together. Seems to have changed, as I said. One can see that it was just infatuated, Mon! "
" E 'fell into my trap! "Joked assuming an evil grin, mimicking more like Elvira.
"Yes, I see you're just his type, right?" He said softly.
"I hope so ... Well, right now if he were the shit, somehow it breaks my heart. "I sighed, now lost in the usual blank expression.
"Yeah ... Then Elvira would kill him ... I would just fill the barrel. "
" I do not suppose so violent, "laughed crystalline, more for the happiness than anything else.
"What are you laughing?! Do not believe me?! Just looks like pesto battery. "
" You're right ... There is no doubt. "
" And everyone who hurt my little Lu is intended to take the rap on the head drum. Including Jack! "Both laughed and then I wrapped her shoulders with a braccio.Mi was a shiver down my spine. I felt as if nothing could hurt me.
At that moment came running to lose breath Elvira. He seemed to have all ten kilometers of trail running, probably had climbed the stairs three steps at a time.
"What is it?" Screamed in chorus me and Jamie.
He tried to talk but not walked out over big sigh interrupted by vowels and consonants, the tongue was almost knotting.
"Elly, what the hell language are you talking about?" Jamie held no more laughter.
"Jamie, was out of breath!" I pointed out, if he had not yet understood.
"Sit down, Elly, and return," the seat next to me and I settled down, holding her hand on his chest to stop the crazy beat of the heart. What on earth could be so urgent to be run that way?
spent ten minutes and three glasses of good water, then handed her the trouble.
"So ... Oh, I going to be a heart attack. Cabbage. So, I said ... You know the blond of the party? Paul? Pier? PierPaolo? "He put a hand to his chin" Boh ... Okay'..." continued to gesticulate, was not an especially important apparently.
"Luckily, it often!" I said with a chuckle.
"Well ..." snorted "You know ... We found an overlap! None of that, eh ... Ma .. Play in local real! "He yelled.
slightly ajar lips with an expression between surprised and delighted. Was there a chance to perform in anything but a narrow and dusty room?!
"Come on, shoot everything! I want details! "Exclaimed Jamie, what amazed me.
"So ... Mr. Biondononmiricordobenecometichiami knows very well the owner of a room just outside the city. It 's a little local esisbiscono in which local small groups. With a little luck and talent some of these are slowly emerging in the underground scene. Now, Mr. biondinoblabla had promised me he would ask this guy, speaking well of us, if you could let us play there. I have not I told you anything before for the simple fact that there was nothing for sure. But now it seems that the type has been accepted and then next Saturday playing live !!!!"
"Elly, I will adooooooroooooo !!!!" I jumped at the neck without worrying about do not choke.
"Very Big! This explains everything that interest to the Pier. "Even Jamie was the picture of felictà" Why is it called Pier. "
" Wow! I went next door, Jamie, eh! "Seraphic smile, as if it was normal not to remember the name of the guy you go out.
"Oh, almost forgot ... We need photos. "He said with no carelessness, the same seraphic smile.
"What picture? Type? "I was quite surprised.
"A kind of photo shoot. The guy in the room I do not think it was quite normal: he wants a photo of every band that plays there. Rocker exalted! "Shook his head" I believe to do it just to get in the rare case that the group is successful. Sick! Anyway just only a picture with our name. A group photo with a logo, in fact. "
" A logo? "I said worried." Where the hell you find it ... Wait ... I'll do it Jamie. And 'good with computers. "Of course it was good, I was his field.
"Ok, girls, perfect, I think I can ... But the photos real? "
" I could change the color of hair. "It seemed really thoughtful.
" Very interesting. Always the same. I mean the place. The background. Poses! "
" Jamie, do not worry. We will do a simple thing. You'll see, I have some ideas. "And when did Elvis had not already figured everything?
"We must quickly though. This Saturday is one of ... 10 days! "Jamie came back and really really worried.
"You, Jamie, I put forward, you know?" Waved his hands on his hips.
"I am restless, Elly!"'s Eyes widened.
"I have to slap?" Raised a hand "Trust and nothing else." And he pointed his finger across his chest.
The next day, after class, Elvira took us in the park on campus, and there we took lots of photos with the car Automatic Jamie.
After a thousand photos and a thousand proofs of logos the result was a nice picture of us against a crumbling wall in impromptu rock star poses and a sign with our name in square characters and jagged profile with a bright red star in the center. Not much, but it was still acceptable. What we certainly felt more at ease for sure was that Elvis for the occasion, failing to dye their hair in time, wore a short skirt complete with purple and black piece and amphibians that made her almost be a component a serious group. Jamie was not even bad, in fact it was very indie rock, really cute with his tie loosened and his shirt under the jacket with the sleeves rolled up. While I ...
"What an idiot I do." I pointed the finger at me in the middle of the picture that I held in my hands.
"Not true, Mon. I like it. "Jamie exclaimed at my side, always too good.
"In the middle I had to be?" I complained.
"Ask the leader for once, blonde." Elvira passed behind me. "Anyway you have been very good! I like the logo. Bella found the star of the center. "
" Thank you, Elly! I'm glad you like it. Now we have to focus a lot on what to play. I get the Campri stomach at the thought. Respirazioneeee ... "espirai inhaled and strong.
"Jamie brings a pillow for our pregnant woman!" Elvira laughed, thrilled more than ever.
I felt terribly agitated in the days following. I told Jack about our first concert with such enthusiasm that he had intended to come more often from I try to help me.
One afternoon, while Jamie and Elvira had a lesson, we found ourselves alone in the room.
After trying some agreements we take a break.
Jack pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from custiodia pocket of the guitar. He opened with I care and I put the cigarette on his lips and access. I never saw smoke, but made him look at the James Dean that was not bad at all.
"Do you smoke?" I asked, surprised by his unusual gesture.
"Oh, yes, sometimes a ... To relieve tension, I'm a bit tired and nervous ultimalmente ... Does it bother you? "Puffed and threw out dense smoke.
"No, no, God forbid ... Not only did I never saw it ... "
" I will be lung cancer, believe me. "He smiled and went to open the window to throw the ashes. He leaned down
all'implificatore of Elvira, the one closest to the window, and continued to smoke without saying a word.
He threw his cigarette out the window nearly in half with a decisive gesture and pulled from his pants pocket a small metal box inside with three or maybe four small pads of different colors with strange symbols on the surface. He took one, the blue one with a flash carved above.
"MDMA, honey, you want one?" ingiottì closing his eyes to savor it better.
"MDMA? MetilDiossiMetaAnfetamina? But Ecstasy is the active ..." I could not believe of what could be. The synthetic drug more dangerous and it was on the market.
"I know a lot, honey ... So you want it or not?" His tone changed dramatically, almost annoyed.
"I did not know that ..." I pointed to the box which reflected the rays of the sun entered the window, making it seem a little Sgrigna treasures. Treasures that I did not like at all and do not covet.
"Come, do not fall from the clouds as usual, take it all ... Especially before playing, but also during the day is a blast." his eyes narrowed suddenly.
"I've never taken and I always played very well," I said with a firm tone.
'Well, it is not a great guitarist, you're famous. "
was a stab in the back, sgranai eyes in disbelief and began to deteriorate.
"Jack, you're telling me that I suck?"
"But you do not have to worry about this, you and your friends are cunts will not have big problems playing around. Continue with short skirts and tight dresses and go forward. Jamie is a talented guitarist, he saves you musically. Get me an 'another cigarette? "He said, indicating the package sticking out of pocket guitar case, without even realizing the meanness that he had just uttered.
" Blame yourself! You just said that I suck! "I raised my voice without fear, outraged by such behavior from him that I would never have expected.
" No, I made you a compliment ... I told you that you pussy, what the hell do you want? "Frowned as if it were the most normal thing in the world, as if he had not insulted in any case" Come on, come here! "Continued when he saw that I had retreated a step. No longer recognizes him, in front of me that was not Jack. My Jack was not. I was denying to myself that this was my boy, that boy that made my heart beat and was always kind to me.
reached for it myself, but drew back sharply.
"Do not touch me, Jack, I'm not going! You're completely done! How many pills have you done before?" I snapped.
"Do not make me the lecture! You're not my mother, okay?" growled. No, it was not him, I kept repeating in my head.
"But you've drunk the brain, you'd better go." I looked down I kept nailed to his so far. I could not watch it.
"Come on, if you want to tell you that you're good to play I'm telling you, okay? "again that tone that simulated the sweetness, but that had nothing sweet, it was more a vicious tone that made me shudder. He walked with his arms stretched out towards me to embrace "Even if you have more good in bed, of course!" He grinned.
"Enough, go away! Fair enough ... "I pointed to the door without a look at him shyly.
" Not even a kiss? "Took me by the wrist, pushing towards the wall almost violently, his eyes almost invisible make it look like a wild beast. For the first time I really scared him, he was stoned done .... I swallowed hard. I tried to wriggle, but it was useless: he was too strong.
I took the other wrist too pressing to the wall and came to my face.
I kissed him. A kiss numb, lips that touched without any emotion. Nothing I did not hear anything except a sense of disgust. I hated him, hated him at that moment to die for what I had said, for what I was doing, but I could not do without him.
"Jack, I do not feel well ... And 'I'd better go to my room to rest a bit. "I managed to say only that when he parted from my lips.
" I'm going too, right? "
"No. .. That is ... " I corrected myself, almost trembling, frightened "I'd rather be alone for a while, I need to sleep. Call me tonight, okay? "Whispered the piano, I missed the voice in my throat.
I was still keeping pressed against the wall with no possibility of escape. The profile touches my neck, my breath smell like a predator with his victim.
"I want you ..." whispered in my ear.
"Really, Jack ..." hardly restrain the tears. It was not him. He was not so, I tried to head Ripert growing to cancel any other emotion, every other thought.
let go, looking for a second.
"Um ... Ok, I'll go somewhere else. It feels. "And went out like that, without another word leaving me still scared and in disbelief to what I saw and what I had said. I could not believe that he really thought this of me: a silly little girl unable to play, which would be successful only because he had a pretty face.
As soon as the shadow disappeared collapsed on the floor.
votuto stop him despite what I tried, but it was as if something held me pinned to the ground. It was as if someone had sewn lips. Not a word. None.
courses in my room trying not to be seen by anyone, but almost scontrai Jamie.
"Hey, Lu .."
I reached the door handle of my room that showed no signs of opening, leaving me in tears, became entangled in front of Jamie.
"Hey, Mon!"
"Let me in please." I pushed with all my strength, but the damn door was still locked.
"Are you crying?"
"No. .." I wiped my face from the tears down my cheek.
"Yeah, right ... What is it? "
" Nothing ... Really. "The door finally splancò and the shot made a strong run into the bathroom wall. I jumped.
"Safe?"
No, I was not sure at all. Titubai.
"I had an argument with Jack." I breathed for breath, I said that I had almost helped "If you really want to know ... Both of you come to my room before it gets Elvira and hear everything. It would crush in five minutes ... "I would have told you too, but with due calm. Elvira was the impulsive would go head to look in the world.
explained part of the story, avoiding some detail, as if telling us they could not be erased. I avoided saying what he had rammed the wall and I had kissed but did not want. Not used it in his own words, raw and offensive, as if I wanted to defend. Or maybe I was just defending myself from the trial of Jamie, I knew that I was supposed to go like that, rebel, throw him away, but the love I felt for Jack had kept making me lose my dignity. I was dying inside.
"I did not know that he had put too tangled up to ... Incredible. "Jamie replied to my story omitted" It 's known for being moody, but this way ... Crazy ... Did it hurt? "She asks in alarm.
"No. .." I whispered, wiping a tear that escaped my cheek, I knew I was lying. I had done wrong, yes, in every possible way. I smiled to reassure him that everything was ok, and I lied again, would not do anything, he hugged me tight.
For a second it was as if the infinite mind had been freed of the bad thoughts. Mental note to myself to tell him the whole story without omissions as soon as I had recovered from that blow to the stomach so hard.
"Why all the boys are not like you Jamie?! You are the prince, "I joked. I let myself go into a silent cry in the arms of Jamie, was a blessing to find it right at that moment.
"This is new!" Laughed stroking my hair "I'll take it as a compliment." Her breath made me shiver. It was the most special friend in the world and, I believe that was the providence to ensure that he was there at that time.
would pass all it was just a moment, I tried to convince me there was a concert to prepare, things would have adjusted. I was not entirely convinced, but I tried to believe the same.
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